Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
