I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
This is the high leading the old right now
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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