i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
that's an acceptable place to lick
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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