i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Floor bacon is actually really good
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
