i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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