Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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