dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Randomize
