No stitches, just platelets and will power
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Dignity is for republicans.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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