Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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