You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
