Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
not ubering you a puppy
Drunk is a universal language darling
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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