Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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