he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
