I think i peed on brittanys purse
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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