Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
