And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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