i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
