i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I just found a bag of teeth...
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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