I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
