He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
