This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
