So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Holy shit dude........stairs
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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