he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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