oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
