We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
