Screwed.edu
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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