Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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