did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
