and you said cock pushups were impossible
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
