The maid of honor just puked.
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
