just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
did i just pee glitter
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
