I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
