I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
