Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
They have beer where we have blood.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize
