Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
