wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
