Your tits are I can't wait for
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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