Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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