stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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