I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
