Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
