It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Im part way to drunk.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
