I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
