At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Do you have feelings for this penis?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
