just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
