we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
