NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
