You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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