are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
