Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
