Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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